|
|
 |
|
...The art of being a fangirl....
|
|
|
Our Philosophies
Mina-chan: We have philosophies?
Ktin: 'The only way to
get rid of temptation is to yeild to it'.
K-chan and Mina-chan: I see.
K-chan: (brightens) It's like in Ranma 1/2! Everything Goes Martial
Arts! We've got Everything Goes Fan...girl...fic...dom...Arts... (brain slows, and she falls over, only mostly dead.)
Mina-chan: Yaay! I get to split her manga with Nee-chan!
K-chan: (never stays dead) Then, there is also the code of Alt-Pairingdom, that basically is
-
Two characters in a series may be paired romantically...
- If they are both hot
- If one of them is hot
- If they are somewhat friendly to eachother
- Better yet, if they are UNFRIENDLY to eachother (preferrably arch-rivals, but mortal enemies
work well too.)
- If they talk at/about one another
- If there is any fleeting eye contact
- If they share the same screen for at least two seconds
The Site Name...
Ktin and her mumsie had this lovely conversation in TBH's early stages
Mom: What are you calling your website?
Ktin: "The Black Hole".
Mom: "The Black Hole"?
Ktin: Yep!
Mom: Is that some sort of obscene reference?
Ktin: ... No.
The Real Identities of The Trio
Surely you've wondered about those three faces you see on our main page,
ne? Well, that is soon to be explained! No, sadly the members of the Trio are not really that hot (or male), but we do each
associate ourselves with one of the Mabudachi Trio of the manga Fruits Baskets, and here's why!
Ktin is Shigure! She's calm and breezy, even when she really shouldn't
be! She was also the first of the Trio to become truly shameless. Oh, and she can sometimes sound like his English Dub, too
(dodges objects hurled by anti-dub purists).
Mina-chan is obviously Ayame, as one can hold the phone well away from
one's head and still hear her on the other end loud and clear. She is also the proud owner of the "sexy voice" and has been
known to be an airhead.
K-chan is Hatori! Why? Well, for one thing, they were both left over. Also,
she was once, long ago, the prude of the Trio, but has clearly gotten over all that. Still, she is one to sulk and roll her
eyes. (K-chan: Gee, thanks. Ktin: No prob.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
'Are you as l33t as we are?'
Ktin: One of the most important abilities of fangirljutsu
is the art of warping dailogue! And Beyblade gives us fangirls so much warpable dailogue to work with!
K-chan: Test your mad pervvy fangirl skillz!
Name the topic of these dialogues:
~~~
Kai: I'm just
getting warmed up!
Tyson: Same here, Kai!
~~~
What think you, young one? Use The Force!! :D That
one was just a test drive for these next ones.
~~~
Kai: Well that's it then. Do it, Tyson. Do it.
~~~
Kai: So far, I've only been toying
with you, Tyson! And now you're about to feel some real heat!
~~~
Kai: Okay,
Tyson, you wanna play
rough? Then bring it on!
The List
Another aspect of being a fangirl is being a perve~ert! The
Trio, who have long searched the likes of fanfiction.net for good yaoi, bring you this definitive list of what not
to do when writing a lemon. This does not necessarily apply to us, or authors we like a great deal. In fact, this rather applies
to beginners. :P
Part One - The Sound Effects
- No excessive mention of a creaking mattress (however, falling back onto
one is incredibly hot :D)
- No dialogue after penatration.
- No excessive 'groaning', as this is supposed to be fun
('moaning' on the other hand... XD)
- It shouldn't make a smacking noise
Part Two - Bad Blow Jobs
- No choking. Even if you are a virgin, choking and spewing it out your nose
is not sexy. (Yes, Ktin has read that.)
- Mentioning a penis is plenty graphic enough without getting down to specific
parts.
- Don't bite it, that's just not fun.
Part Three - 'This reminds me of a gas station...'
- Uke should never say, "Fill me up" (eg the movie Election - poor
Ktin.)
- No 'pumping' excessively.
Part Four - Other things that scar.
- Don't stick random things up there! (Cucumbers. K-chan is scarred.)
- No stretching. (Ktin disagrees... she thinks.)
- No pulsating. Or throbbing. Especially if you have seen the last episode
of Excel Saga. O.o;
- No veins.
- Don't use a dozen words for penis. We all know what you're talking about.
- Don't twist around in the middle- that hurts! (Ktin wonders how K-chan knows
this.)
We would put more, but we think this is enough for our younger audience.
Have fun, kids!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
DO YOU NOT AGREE WITH US!? Yesh, yesh, we know you do. No, I won't put the gun down, I like holding it against your head.
|
|
|
|
