First I must say:  I DON'T HATE HIMIKO! I even sort of like her... but I've got a friend (Ktin) who despises her with a passion, and I couldn't help but notice that there is a huge section supplied by frothing Ban x Kazuki fangirls out there, matched only by Ginji x Ban gals. Hee hee. That said, I don't own GB. Or the 'Part' titles, as they all come from my Grimm's Fairy Tales book.

My Fair Kazuki

[Chapter 1]

By Silver Chaos Girl

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This chapter is dedicated to Ktin, who will probably pull out my arteries with toenail clippers when she finds out. :D

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Part I: The Death of the Hen

Once upon a time, although not so long ago, there was a perfume-wielding maiden with green hair and a star beneath her eye who was feeling rather lonely. It was a bleary, rainy Saturday, and there were neither a job nor romantic date she could busy herself with.  Typically she might bury herself within the soft cocoon of fantasy (With thoughts of an urchin-haired retriever...), but this day she remained unsatisfied.

Not that she had any need for a romantic outing, naturally, being of course a successful, self-satisfied individual that doesn't depend on a certain brunette's company in order to be happy. She could very well read a book or take up an old hobby, or knit, or, well, fantasize... Except her mental plots were never very inventive or interesting....

And thus she found herself sitting before her computer, typing the address of a certain website that for some unfathomable reason will not let it's authors put in their story... a certain fanfiction archive site... one where a collection of creative (and sometimes not so much) people put their skills to the test, pooling ideas in stories labeled 'fanfics'...  

Himiko, for that was her name whispered in venom laced tones by all that loathed her, indifferently by most, and reverently by men in love with how much her arse was given screen time, almost clapped her hands in delight when she found the GetBackers section beneath the anime heading!

Almost... As she was not a child, and would not behave like one!      

Blinking bright eyes, she scanned the list of titles and summaries, ratings and the like.

Oh my goodness...

In her unattractively spiky and short green-haired head, the tanned girl found something beginning to tear, the rip in the papery sheet of her sanity growing as she opened that fateful first story....  

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Part II: Our Lady's Little Glass 

That incident of 'once upon a time' happened not so long ago, but now this tale switches to another person's point of view, another, more attractive (to both genders) person... In the middle of his apartment, Kazuki Fuuchoin stood in front of a mirror, a worried expression on his pretty face. His honey-brown eyes were focused on his reflection, surveying it with an overly-critical eye.

He pushed the two brown strands framing his face behind his shoulders. Scrunching up his nose with distaste, he pulled the tails back to their original position. Mumbling something under his breath that was probably unpleasant, he was glad Juubei was out on a walk, albeit that walk was crippled by the fact the Juubei was almost blind. The Master of the Flying Needles would probably have a lot of questions the Master of Threads didn't want to answer... most about why was he standing in front of his mirror muttering... 

This day, well, this was to be very different... With all that had happened, the brunette hadn't had a chance to fulfill his promise to Ren... and Gen, too... A pink flush blossomed on his cheeks. Yes, he definitely shouldn't forget that Gen would be there. He had promised that he would come back to share a cup of Gen's infamous tea after the battle for IL ended.

Straitening his loose white shirt with the blue stripe for what seemed to be the fortieth time that night, he tried to think of what he should say. Kami knew that he couldn't just show up and say, "Hi! I'm back for that tea!" with a big smiling face after months of putting it off... Massaging his temples, he thought back again as to WHY he had put it off.... shyness, mostly. Did Ren even want to see him? Days turned into weeks and weeks to months, and....well, it would be rude to show up un announced but dammit he better stop thinking about this before he lost the nerve... again...

Blinking large honey eyes at the flustered man in the mirror, Kazuki turned away from the distressing image- he made a pretty girl. A very pretty girl, thanks to the Fuuchoin training...  He sighed. Tugging at the collar of his shirt, he strode with an air of false confidence to the door, not a clue of what he would say to the Radous.

Alas, the poor brunette's concern was for naught, however, as he never made it to the pharmacists' home.

 As he stepped onto the pavement outside the apartment complex, something slammed into the back of his head repetitively, effectively conking him out before nary he saw the vague outline of the assailant.    

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Part III: Hansel and Gretel

Things were not going well for Kazuki. His kidnappers lifted him up carefully, cackling wickedly as they went about their wicked work. At the site of the attack there was no trademark signs of trouble: neither scuffle marks nor any other obvious indications of the culprit, as he had been knocked out from behind. Ren wasn't expecting him, and a note upon the refrigerator awaited Juubei's return. No one would be looking for the Threadmaster for at least a day, and by that time, what type of torture would be imparted on our beloved bishonen?

What will the Get Backers do?!

Alas. Neither Ban nor Ginji had developed telepathy in the time since the IL incident. The dynamic duo remained like everyone else in the cast, hopelessly unaware to the happenings of Kazuki Fuuchoin. They were speding their time on their knees, begging Pore....  for something other than food?

"Please?" Chibi-Ginji was at it full force, huge cheeks quivering slightly as he held his breath in optimistic anticipation. The owner of the Honky Tonk remained cold, and rolled his eyes, though you couldn't see it for his glasses. Ginji's little eyebrows were drawn up in confusion.

Why wouldn't Pore help them?

Alongside the blond was rare and adorable creature- Chibi Ban. Possessing the unnaturally large eyes the run-of-the-mill chibis were known for, he stared evenly at the pink-haired man for a while, hoping to psyche him out. When that plan of action failed to show promise, he said very calmly, "I don't beg very often."

Pore snorted.

"We've hit rock bottom, Pore. The bottom of the pit, the end of our rope, call the IRS and tell them we've died, whatever saying you prefer, we really need the money." For emphasis, the Jagan-wielding chibi slammed his fist onto the counter, yet it was ruined slightly by his 3-ft frame.  

The sounds of the door opening and closing alerted the duo to the entrance of a certain sympathetic waitress. 

"Kyaa!" Natsume skipped over to where the duo knelt. Why she was not there earlier is an unsolved mystery. "You're both chibi! What are you guys doing-" her eyes widened, as her face turned an unnatural pale color. "Oh my gosh!" she clamped her hands over her mouth, as if she might scream... or vomit.

"Natsumeeeeeeeeee!" Chibi Ginji whined. "We can’t even afford hair supplies!" He hiccupped sadly, before screaming at Pore in explanation to the waitress' shock, "MY ROOTS ARE SHOWING!!!!"    

"I don’t have enough gel to spike up one strand of hair! I've got a reputation to upkeep!" Ban inserted with a whine, for indeed, he wasn't a spiky-haired chibi, but a plain, deflated one.

"I'M THE REAL CRISIS HERE! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY BLOND!!!!!!!! HOW CAN I BE WHEN PEOPLE CAN SEE I'M ACTUALLY NOT!?!?" Hysterical and ashamed, the Amano flopped on the floor, massaging the jet-black roots. 

"I can't bear seeing you in this state, cute as Ban may be..." They perked up immediately. Swaying slightly, Natsume fumbled with her purse. "Oh no... I forgot..." She down at the eager, shining faces of Ban and Ginji and confessed, "I spent all my paycheck already... on this purse...and some rope..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" howled they in unison, causing an earthquake, shattering glass, waking the dead, and all other such random events associated with screeching at an unnatural pitch of pure agony.

"Listen. That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made the sound when my father died. The man of black roots makes it now." Pore said ominously.  

Natsume arched both brows. "Huh?"

The elder man coughed, flushing slightly the color of his hair. "Never mind."

"So you'll help us?" asked Ginji excitedly, floating into the air in his joy, only to be shot down by Pore's harsh,

As all should see, the Get Backers were in no shape to take on the probably not-so-mysterious threat that loomed over Kazuki... What happened to Himiko? Why did her POV cut off so abruptly, and is this important? What of beloved Ban and Ginji and their hair supplies crisis? Why does this have anything?!

Find out next time on 'My Fair Kazuki'.

And feel free to speculate in a review. :P Though I'm sure a gopher can figure out where this is going... As to why Kazuki left a note for Juubei, who is still blind... hee hee, that'll be explained. Also, do you know what movie Pore was quoting?

The Ginji "My roots are showing!" -idea belongs to a buddy of mine who won't write it, so I stole the idea! :D The fic is dedicated to her btw! Lol.

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First I must say: I do not own Get Backers. Or any fairy tale I might rip off of. Hee hee. That, and I don’t know MUCH crap about Juubei 'cept what I've pieced together...

My Fair Kazuki

[Chapter 2]

By Silver Chaos Girl

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This chapter is dedicated to Ryoku and Mina-chan, who both know why. :D

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Part IV: Snow-White and Rose-Red

Let us see how the quest for HP (Hair Products) continues. Discouraged, the still-chibi-fied Ban and Ginji wandered the streets aimlessly, plotting revenge on the cold-hearted Pore... Just 'cause they thought he died his hair pink... how were they to know that was his natural color...?

"We could ask Shido-kun..." Ginji offered dejectedly. Ban dismissed the idea with a frown and a shake of his not-spiky head. The dark-haired Beast Master would never sympathize with them... he just held his back with a bandanna and didn’t care what happened to his own black spikes!

That's it... Sympathetic! They needed someone like Natsume (but wasn't broke), someone who would be sympathetic to their pain! ...Someone they know who would be sympathetic to their hair troubles...  That's it!

Ginji spun to face Ban, Ban to face Ginji, and in unison they shouted, "KAZU-CHAN/THREAD SPOOL!" and took off running, maniac grins on their chibi faces. 

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Part V: The Poor Miller's Boy and the Cat

There were four things Kazuki noticed upon waking: That he was tied up... they had wound the cords around his body so he could barely wiggle; that he was hanging from the ceiling, upside down; that the room was incredibly dark; and that Himiko, illuminated by spotlight, was wearing a wig-version of his own hairstyle. And a pink princess dress, with a large skirt and puffy sleeves.

"Himiko-san?" the very confused male blinked honey-colored eyes as the tanned girl sneered down at him, which wasn't hard to do considering their positions. She cackled. Cackled. 

Shadows blocked her face from view... along with parts of his hair, which had been removed from their customary tails. "Yes, it is I, Himiko." The String Master couldn't help but blink again. Why was Himiko-san talking like some cheesy villain-ess?

"What's going on here? Where are we-" Now the brunette glimpsed her eyes, which were dilated and understandably evil, and quite possibly caused by drugs. He was no fool. Narrowing his eyes, he demanded, "Why did you capture me?"

"Yes, I did capture you, Kazuki-kun." Some annoying little voice in the back of his head screeched that their lines were off. He squished it. Now Kazuki knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that the voodoo child had become evil, for the use of friendly suffixes without permission of closeness was a sure sign of a villain. Indeed, were there any need for proof, one would have but to draw their mind's gaze to a certain lavender-eyed transporter and his Ginji-kun...

He blew some hair out of his face, cold dread swept through him. His bells! Amber eyes darted around the room until they rested on the ones on Himiko's wig. Kazuki's mouth opened in outrage, and the green-haired transporter took the opportunity to gag him with a dirty rag. "No interruptions."

"I-We have a bone to pick with you, Kazuki-chan." Himiko went on. Suddenly Madoka, Natsumi, and Hevn were spotlighted as well. Natsumi and Hevn weren't dressed in the bizarre wig, but each wore a princess dress, each color of their preference. (Natsumi orange, Hevn green.) Madoka, in her normal blue ensemble, holding her violin poised as if to play, sent the tied up man a weary-but-sympathetic glance.  

"Thanks Sakura-san." Natsumi nodded to the girl who still remained out of sight. Himiko spun to face the women, eyes glinting malevolently and maniacally, as her wig almost fell off. She adjusted it ruefully.

"Who wants to monologue first? I'm saving myself for last, because it is the most dramatic moment!"

Natsume shrugged. "I guess I'll go, as I've got the least reasonable one."

Madoka piped up suddenly with, "I really don't have anything against Kazuki-san, since he saved my life... and I'm happy with the way things are now, so why don't you jus let me g-"

"SHUT UP!" the tanned girl barked. "You are not a necessary factor here!"

Question marks appeared around Kazuki's head, and tangled in the unbridled flow of his hair. The young prodigy gave the impression of being confused as well, blinking her blind eyes and frowning. However, other than her face, she remained but a mannequin of a violinist. Finally she asked,  "I'm not? Why did you kidnap and control me, then?"

As Himiko backtracked and admitted she had been a little frustrated, Kazuki's sharp amber eyes sought in the darkness...  yes!  The giga wire to Makubex's wire doll system! It was attached to Madoka... While Kazuki was relieved he wouldn’t have to tell Shido his girlfriend was a villainess now, as that might have some painful results, he couldn’t help but wonder why anyone would manipulate the sightless prodigy in their scheme... and why was Makubex helping Himiko?

"Natsumi, tell Kazuki why you're here!" snapped curvaceous Hevn, having finally realized she wasn't getting any dialogue.

The bright-eyed waitress stepped forward. "Well, my fan section with Ginji is pretty stable," She paused with a blush. The blonde woman jabbed her in the rib cage. "Oh! But I feel sorry for Hevn-san, Himiko-san, and Sakura-san, because of you, they got cheated!"

Kazuki would question how, exactly, were they "cheated", but for this moment he remained gagged. 

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Part VI: The Mouse, the Bird and the Sausage

Juubei Kakei was not a person accustomed to being glomped.

...However, as he reached to insert the key of the apartment, that's the situation he found himself in. Tilting his head down, he could only assume it was two very mistaken children... Until one began chirping in a very familiar voice... something... about Kazuki... and hair gel...  or was it dye...? He tapped the chatty kid lightly on the back with his cane... kami, did he feel like an old man doing that... and the boy began to speak in intelligible sentences.

"Hey Juubei, long time no see!" ...The Lightning Emperor, Amano Ginji? Juubei's brow furrowed. "Where's Kazuki? He's not home!"

"We must've pushed the buzzer a million times!" irately snapped... Midou Ban...? How was he so short...? And not... improbably spiky for some reason.... Juubei gave up trying to figure how the duo acted like this and went with it.

He sighed, "Let me open the door..."

In a spout of stubborn pride, Juubei had insisted that Kazuki leave a note like he would for any normal roommate... it was the only thing on the refrigerator, and though he couldn't read it, per say, it was enough to know the long-haired brunette had gone out. Fingering the sheet of paper, the Master of the Flying Needles could only wonder at the sense of foreboding that filled him... And Ginji was pawing at his arm.

"Can I see?"    

Flippantly tossing the slip at the chibi, Juubei stalked –well, the best he could with a cane helping him feel along the way- to the living room, and sat on the couch.

"Who's Ren?" Ginji's voice cut through his brooding aura.

"Some pharmacist....Why?"

"That's what he wrote, 'Off to see Ren'." The blond explained, as the squish of another person sitting next to him on the couch registered in Juubei's mind.  

There was a hefty silence.

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Part VII: Ferdinand the Faithful and Ferdinand the Unfaithful

Unbeknownst to the Needle Master, Ban and Ginji were mouthing words to eachother.

'Should we ask him?' Normal Ban silently mouthed.

'NO!!!'  Ginji's head shook emphatically as his lips –he was unchibi again as well- took on the shape of an 'O'.   

'Why not?'

'Cause...Cause!'

'Why??'

'Because he's Juubei!'

'And?'

'I don't think he cares much about hair, either...and he may not believe us!'

'Let's get him to take us to see this Ren boy!'

'How are you sure Ren's a boy?'

To that, Ban had only a perverted grin.

First I must say: I don't own anything of GB. At all. No rights, no manga! I'm mooching of a buddy of mine's.

My Fair Kazuki

[Chapter 3]

By Silver Chaos Girl

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This chap. dedicated to both Ktin and Mina-chan once again. Ktin helped me with Shido! Thanks so much! :D And Mina-chan, do you like part 13's title? :P

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Part XI: The Hare and the Hedgehog

We return to the dark abyss that has now been identified to be the inside of a lovely white tower with a pretty pink roof, Natsumi's scatty answer was met with a hefty silence, albeit a forced in one on Kazuki's end. Himiko blinked, and coughed, gesturing for Natsumi to step aside. Madoka lifted an eyebrow.

'Rolling her eyes heavenward, Hevn stepped into the 'Testifiers' box', the small upward lift in the flooring, that made a small stage. Her bountiful bosom bounced with the movement behind the green princess dress. "Kazuki, shall I read an excerpt from Ayamine-sensei's notes to you?" she lifted her note cards.

He just cocked an eyebrow, as he was still bound, gagged, and upside down.

"'Character Secrets: I wanted to create a character that would be mistaken for a girl. Thanks to him I have to draw the female characters differently.'"

The brunette gaped the best he could with a dirty rag around his head. 

Hevn shook with justifiable rage. "You're at fault her, thread-boy!" screeched the maiden of much bosom, the mounds heaving again as she raggedly grasped for breath. "I can wear the tiniest shreds of clothing, but does anyone acknowledge me as pretty?!" Kazuki didn’t bother trying to fathom the logic in that sentence. "NO! Beacuase I'm not pretty! Not as much as you! In comparison I'm ugly, ugly!" She collapsed to her knees, unconsciously giving the boy who resembled a silkworm an even better view. He tried not to flush.

Then Hevn quivered, hissing, "He stoles it, yes precious, he stoles the prettiness!"    

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Part XII: Maid Maleen

Not that it vitally matters to the plot, but Madoka's arms were beginning to ache from holding her violin in the same position for hours. And why hadn't Shido noticed she was gone yet?

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Part XIII: The Table, the Ass, and the Stick

Ban and Ginji were still communicating silently. Juubei rolled sightless eyes and watched... er, listened to the television.

'Baaaaaaaaaan, how are you sure this 'Ren' is a man? Tell me!'

'......................Thread spool sends pretty mixed signals, but I think I've got him right.'

'Huh? Signals?'

Juubei lifted an eyebrow as normally rather composed Ban dissolved into laughter. Ginji, though the Needlemaster would not be able to know, had turned rather pale. The not-natural blond shot up from his seat, soft brown eyes incredibly wide.

"We gotta go find Kazu-chan! For HP!"

"Isn't that the shortened version of that wizard-kid's name, Hairy Pothead-something?"

"No, Juubei, Hair Products!" the electric GetBacker shouted, pumping his fist into the air. He turned to his snakelike partner and mouthed, "Kazu-chan would've told me if he was, y'know, right?"

Juubei rolled his eyes for the second time that scene. "Ginji.... you do realize you do make some degree of noise when you mouth things, right?"

The GetBacker men froze.

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Part IVX: Rapunzel 

Clomp... Clomp....Cuss word.... Clomp... Clomp.... Clomp.... Another curse.... clomp...

Ren's progress was both slow and painful as she trudged down the street, in clunky armor, heading towards that stupid tower. In all honesty, she would have turned around, but the redhead was too afraid to try and spin in this thing. So, forward she marched. 

Reaching the tower through some hand of fate, our heroine noticed with dismay that there was no door on this side of the pink-roofed tower. Bracing herself against the alabaster brick, Ren slowly moved around, searching for that entrance as she grit her teeth in both frustration and fear.

If this dinky thing fell over, she might not be able to get up again!  

She smiled grimly as she finished her fourth circle, whose pure white wall was starting to annoy her. "This is pointless... there's no way in." Realization dawned in her bright blue eyes. "Like that stupid fairy tale! Ugh, what did he say... 'some inane obsession with being a princess'? Aw, shit, I wasn't paying attention! What's that tale... with the hair... Rapunzel?" Ren craned her head the best she could. "'Oh Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair'?" Nothing came down.

The tomboy sighed. "I knew this was pointless." Slowly she creaked her helmet down, and then gave a startled gasp. The blasted bricks had parted. Feeling far more confident, Ren stomped inside, to find...

Stairs. Lots of stairs. Winding to the top.

Ren sighed again. "You better appreciate the trouble I'm going through for you, girl!" growled Sir-er, Lady Ren as she ascended the steps, one foot at a time.  

Clomp... Clomp.... F-you, Gramps....

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Part VX: The Turnip

Shido had spent most of the day pacing around Madoka's mansion. Moving around could be considered exercise, and exercise creates endorphins. Endorphins relieve stress. And Shido was very stressed.

'How long does it take a blind, beautiful, violinist prodigy who sees past all the cold, brutish exterior of mine to the heart of a lover beneath-' His fierce expression melted away as it always did when he thought of his beloved girlfriend. After another few seconds of babble, he caught himself. 'Stop it Shido, no tangents! Even ones about girls who's dark, unseein eyes captivate you– Ahem –right.  For a girl to go get milk?'

Truthfully, he wasn't sure why Madoka needed milk. Breakfast was long since over, and she had a butler and maids to do that kind of chore... she just out of no where decided, she wanted milk, and she would get it.

The Beastmaster's long legs returned him to the site where he had last seen his girl. The dark-haired girl had been about to play him... some ballad, next to an open window. There... was a huge gust of wind and Madoka had froze. Then she flashed him one of her million-watt smiles, saying they needed more milk. He had offered to get it for her, or accompany her, but she had politely declined.

With a shaky sigh, Shido prepared himself for what he was about to do- it would be incredibly mortifying, and if that snake bastard ever found out he'd never live it down.... but he was getting really worried, and it was for Madoka...

"Beast Mimicry, Hound-dog form!" 

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Well, if Shido doesn't know what to look for, I don't think he'd pick up that Himiko's perfume got Madoka (he didn't catch the 'Tracking Scent', after all....)