K-chan: Two idiots get drunk. See what happens? But no, we're not drunk enough to believe we own Beyblade yet...

Ktin: I am. XD Prepare for the fourth season of Beyblade! In which...I dunno what happens, I'm too drunk.

"Tyson and I have to finish our battle!"

"You've had plenty of chances to do that, Kai! It's my turn!"

Kai pinned his teammate with a patented Death Glare. Ray tried to appear immune, but his visibly shaking knees betrayed him. The color of Kai's eyes had changed to scarlet over the last Beyblading off-season, which made the glare particularly dark, evil and menacing. That, and the Russian had grown four and 3/4 inches, towering over everyone on the reformed BladeBreakers, and Hiro if you counted the inches added by his hair.

Inside the new and improved practice hall, Kai and Ray tried to outlast eachother in a staring contest. Little did Ray know, Kai had been practicing his frigid expression in the mirror for years. He could go for hours without blinking!

At a safe distance, the others stood, watching with wide eyes.

"Whoa... Look at Kai! He's not even wincing!" remarked Max, tilting his head to the side quite adorably.

Tyson followed suit, saying, "Neither is Ray! I guess all that 'focus training' stuff does work!"

Green eyes narrowing with skepticism, Daichi asked, "Work on what?"

"If they continue at this rate...!" Kenny shouted his line quite unnecessarily, "We might be stuck here all day!"

And they would be, if it meant Kai would be the first to battle Tyson. It would be the first practice match they'd had in months, which is why Kai felt the need start this season off with a battle between him and everyone's favorite world champion. Everything he'd done, everything he'd seen... It all started with Tyson, and somehow it wouldn't be right if he didn't continue this strange but wonderful tradition.

That, and something Tyson had said to him before...

"But that's what I love about Beyblading! It makes you forget about time, it makes you forget about your problems, and it makes you focus on what's going on in the Beystadium."

All that lovely focus on Ray before he got a go? Ah, no, not happening.

"I've been waiting a long time for this day!" He took an intimidating step forward. There was a chorus of gasps. "I'm not going to let you or anyone stop me! Tyson and I have to be first!"

A group blink ensued.

Overcome with passion, and with a dramatic hand gesture, Kai proclaimed, "Our duel has been written in the stars!"

Ray looked horribly confused. "'Written in the stars'?"

Still safely a good ten feet away, Tyson pronounced, scrunching up his nose, "Geez, you're so corny, Kai!"

"I'm what...?" Kai looked sharply downward. Then up, asking in a slower, more deliberate tone, "What?"

"I said you're corny!"

Kai paused. Was that relief in his eyes? "Oh."

Tyson decided to tempt fate. Coming up to the team captain, he asked teasingly, "What did you think I said?"

"Ah, nothing."

Tyson stepped closer. Kai, if anything, looked more uncomfortable.

"Hey! I get it! Kai thought he said horny!" Daichi blurted with much twelve-year-old joy. There's nothing quite like being a twelve-year-old hentai. Daichi burst into uncontrolled sniggers.

Tyson tilted his head again, curious. "Are you?"

Kai blushed beet red.

Ray blinked again, still in what-the-heck mode. Max and Kenny looked at eachother, wondering why they weren't getting any more dialogue. Daichi stopped laughing to ponder...

Kai regained his composure and his glare. "No."

Now, as the co-authors didn't plan this far ahead, the story shall skip to Tyson giving Kai a bad fanfic blowjob.

"Tyson." he growled as Tyson took precious seconds to completely discard the remainder of Kai's clothes. Kai's pent-up frustrations quickly diminished under the caress of his lover's mouth, and soon he was writhing in utter ecstasy...

Never mind. We have decided to continue with the plot after all, having teased/tortured our readers. Nyaha! ;p

"He's lying!" Daichi pronounced, after much consideration.

"How do you know?" Max laughed, giving the younger boy a pat on the shoulder. Daichi blushed a little.

"Daichi?" Tyson looked stricken. "Kai?"

Kai's newfound scarlet eyes narrowed. "No, you idiot."

Daichi raised a knowing finger in the air. "Haven't you heard the things he says during battles? He clearly has a one-track mind!"

'So far I've only been toying with you, Tyson, but now you're about to feel some real heat!'

'So you wanna play rough, huh?'

'But that doesn’t mean I'm just going to lie down and let you win.'

Both Kai and Tyson turned a furious red.

Daichi pinned Tyson with a knowing look. "Surely you've thought about this before?"

After a few seconds of awkward laughter, Tyson rubbed his nose and grinned. "Well, yeah..." Not so much thought as fantasized, really, but I'm not going to say that.

Popping up rather randomly, Max interjected, "Guys, Kai grows impatient. He wants his 'battle', after all." Max embellished the word 'battle' with quotations in the air.

Ktin grows impatient. Can Kai just drag Tyson off and do him now?

No, of course not. The readers already got a paragraph of K-chan's perverted fantasies. She wrote it, after all.

"I think it's you that has a one-track mind." Kai accused, slanting a glance at the hyperactive blond.

"You're the one who said all that." Max looked up at the tall Russian with wide, innocent eyes. "I am simply an observer." As were Ray and Kenny, but they weren't saying anything at the moment.

Daichi snickered. "What do you want to observe, Max?"

"...I am curious to see who'd be on top..." the cheeky blond admitted, to the great amusement the Little Hentai Daichi.

Tyson blinked, looking at the above sentence. "Hey, it's like Little Bunny Foo Foo!" He grinned, horribly amused when everyone gave him startled and confused looks. Swaying, he sang badly – an act of true talent, I might add:

"'Little Hentai Dai-chi, walking through the forest, picking up the...'" He trailed off.

"Tala!" Kenny suggested to further the demented butchery of the word 'plot'.

"-'Picking up the Talas and bopping them on the head'!" Pause. "Wouldn't that hurt his hand, though? I mean, that hair..."

"His hair's softer than it looks, Tyson." Indignantly informed the bispeckled brunette.

Daichi waggled his eyebrows, asking, "And you know this - how?"

Tyson ignored them both in favor of voicing a long-unanswered question of his: "And what the hell is a 'goon', anyway?"

"A thug, a gangster, an attacker, an assailant..." Kai listed, then smirked. "That's what my spellcheck says, anyway."

"Kai's user-friendly?" Kenny piped up again. Tyson and Daichi pondered that for a moment, being incredibly perverted, as is everyone in this fic.

Tyson blinked the mental images away (aww) and wondered aloud, "Why would you punish Little Bunny Foo Foo by turning him into a criminal?"

"I have no idea, but it may have something to do with..." The Question to Life, the Universe and Everything was not answered today, as Kai's temper and his common sense (why was this important at all?) chose then to flare. The greater purpose of fanfiction, smut, had yet to be properly achieved.

Kai pinned Tyson to a conveniently placed wall.

"You. Me. Beyblade. Now." Kai had reverted to speaking in small segments.

"Whoa, don't go all ape-man on me, Kai..." Tyson trailed off, now imagining Kai in a loincloth.

"And Kai said I had a one-track mind?" Max laughed, nudging the redhead who had once again doubled over in sniggers.

"Yikes! Kai!"

Kai's impatience had only festered as Tyson began to drool, too caught up in fantasy for his own good. Tossing the shorter teen over his shoulder (all those hours of sit-ups finally paid off), Kai proceeded to carry Tyson off.

Daichi shouted triumphantly to the only person actually listening, Max,

"See? I told you Kai was horny!"

End Drunken Author Notes: K-chan's computer apparently has the word 'blowjob' in it's spellcheck repertoire (She typed it 'blow-job'). She wonders what it was used for before it was passed down to her.