Kai: (sneering) They let people like you write fanfiction?

Heartless: (Insane grin) You'd better believe it!

Kai: ...At least you don't own Beyblade.

The Russian didn't even like the internet – he thought it a waste of time that could be spent on better things, like training. But even Kai couldn't fight the inevitable necessity that the World Wide Web was becoming in the fast-paced life everyone seemed to be leading now. Heck- even TYSON had a computer in his house now (A laptop from Hiro).

Damn it all. Tala should know not to send him things like this... Ever. He wasn't the damn type for questionnaires! Violet eyes narrowed at the subject 'If you ever get bored...'

One sent Kenny these questionnaires, or Max, or even Tyson to do when feeling unproductive. Not him. Not Kai.

Kai huffed slightly, knowing as he clicked the window closed that Tala pulled a contact sweep and emailed it to everyone he had on his list...

Time passed.

He never should have scoffed at Tala's little 'gift'. The Russian had somehow reached a strange, incurable level of boredom. Training offered him no solace, nor did glaring at random objects, nor thinking about oblivious navy-haired Beybladers, nor brooding about the strange emotions caused by said Beybladers... all his favorite things to do!

...And that email was looking very appealing.

Relenting (Since, after all, no one could SEE him), Kai logged in again and checked his email. Opening the horribly interesting thing... violet eyes skimmed over a long paragraph spiel over how you can 'get 2 know ur friends and urself', 'may even B surprised', send it to everyone then fill it out and send that too. (Did Tyson write this? No, even he didn't spell this bad...)

#1. About U -

Wat is ur name?

Clever. Very clever. Typing the three little keys, Kai vowed then and there to murder his old time friend for sending this.

Wat do u want 2 b called?

Smiling sarcastically, Kai typed, 'What do you think?'

What names wuld u give ur kids?

Since he never planned on having children, Kai responded with the first thing that came to mind – Gou.

Wht age r u? 16.

Wat age do u want 2 b? 13. He met Tyson... and became a Bladebreaker when he was thirteen. It seemed so long ago now... when he was just another overconfident, proud-to-a-fault rebel who wanted nothing more than to be left alone, and Tyson just the annoying, loud, cocky run-of-the-mill hotshot that couldn't just let him have his peace... Not that much had changed, except...

He didn't find Tyson that annoying anymore. Though the master of Dragoon was still loud (Especially when his voice cracked. Then it was funny.) and arrogant (winning the 3 world championships left Tyson with swelled head that he always seemed to fall prey to after victory, but it was cute, in a way...)...

Kai drew his attention back to the survey.

Fav. color? Blue

Fav. food? If I answered that, all sense of mystery about myself would be gone.

Fav. place? Hm... what should he put, 'training hall', or 'staduim'? The Stadium had memories of battles with Tyson, and he did love to battle against his...former teammate... but the training hall had memories of sweating Tyson after a harsh workout, even if the navy-haired teen didn't wear those white T-shirts anymore...

The training hall or Beybattle staduim

Fav. animal? Phoenix

Got pets? No.

Fav. thing to do in spare time? Well, it's not filling out stupid surveys.

Fav. person? Some1 who knows u, &u know? How would they be my favorite person if I don't know them? typed Kai evasively. If he did send this to Tala and whoever else was on his contact list (which he might not, purely for his dignity's sake), they did NOT need to know that answer...

Fav. acter&actriz? Email questionnaires, favorite actors... what did they take him for, HILARY? Grunting, Kai skipped that one.

Fav. Movie? He had several. But he would die before admitting ANY of them, as Tyson mostly introduced all of them.

What's ur biggest feer? In typical Kai fashion, he simply put, 'I fear nothing'.

What's teh 1 thing u wanna do b4 u die? Defeat Tyson again, to prove that I can. I'm not second to ANYONE, and I'm just as good as he is. Actually, what he wanted to do varied slightly from that. His horribly inappropriate fantasy involved defeating Tyson, somewhere in private, then confessing- ah, nevermind.

1 thing u coldn't live w/o? ...t-y-s-o-Kai deleted the name almost formed quickly.

1 thing u cou;d live w/o? Stupid surveys like this.

Great, the next section was about his friends. Dammit, he didn't have that many friends – he wasn't Tyson, who made friends with everyone!

#2. Of UR FRiends who is the:

Shortest: Daichi. Were Daichi and he really friends? They never really talked... Kai guessed they were... sort of. If that 'any friend of yours is a friend of mine' saying applied to him and Tyson.

Tallest: Tala The redhead was going to get a kick out of that one. If Kai sent this. Or didn't kill him before he opened his mailbox.

Funnyest: Ty Kai's fingers froze above the keys... If Tyson ever found out that... Backspace-backspace. n/a, as I have no sense of humor.

Sw33test: n/a

Advizer: Kenny

Most perfect: Myself.

Dumbest/blondst: Hm, another tough one. Caught between two idiots. Max actually is blond, so he wins that one. Sorry, Tyson.

And now... the oh-so-fun 'love life' section. Well, what he assumed it was. The heading was '#3. UR Luv live'...

Do u get along with ur ex-bf/gf? I don't date, therefore, I do not have ex-anything..

Do u have toys in bed? If yes, wat r they're names and wat are they? Why is this under- Hey... WAIT A SECOND!

Tala was so dead.

best pick-up line? No one used pick-up lines on him. He was Kai. Honestly...they valued their lives. n/a

1st rthing that attracts u 2 a guy/gurl? Eyes. Big, expressive, cinnamon-colored eyes

Majgr turn on of opposite sex? Not being the opposite sex, but Tyson. But Kai didn't put that down.

Major turn off frm opposite sex? Being, in fact, the opposite sex. Kai skipped that one too...

Wat do u want ur ideal b/f or g/f 2 B like? Tyson. It was an oxymoron, really, with all Tyson's faults, he was what Kai wanted in an ideal situation.

Who do you like, now? Be honest... Tala must have typed this one at the end. Christ, didn't he know how to insert things like this better? He spelled out the words 'you' and 'be' properly.

Kai pressed the 'back' button.

In his inbox, he found that Tala had sent him his answers. Opening it (against his better judgment), Kai skimmed to the bottom – Tala had also answered that last question.

He twitched.

He blushed angrily.

He plotted things beyond simple torture to the death.

He was thinking more along the lines of... to the pain.

To the pain, for those who didn't know, meant almost complete butchery... butcherment... oh, whatever! It involved something nice and sharp, and that was good enough for Kai...

As follows...

The first thing the redhead will lose will be his feet below the ankles,
Then his hands at the wrists.
Next his nose.
Then his left eye, followed by his right.

His ears, however, he'll keep, and allow the narration to explain why... So that every shriek of every child at seeing Tala's hideousness will be his to cherish. Every babe that weeps at his approach, every woman that cries out, "Dear God, what is that THING!" will echo in Tala's perfect ears. It means Kai leaves Tala in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

The Russian smirked to himself.

At least he felt like being productive again.

Kai: X.x

Heartless: Drop a review and make my day!

Kai: ...No, you'll only encourage her! X.x

Heartless: Ignore him! I'm an un-deter-able Tyka fangirl. Free Kai plushies to anyone who does! And my eternal awe and adoration, which I doubt you care too much about, to anyone who can tell me what movie the end came from. Pluses, that's not a real survey, but it's based off of one I've recieved! Adios, everyone!