Heartless'
Brain-dead Notes: This is a very unoriginal idea... but hell, I was BORED. -.-; No Beyblade for me. Or Tootsie Pops, either...
Or anything else I may make reference to. Okay, kiddies, you know why they tell you to say 'no' to drugs...?
Summary:
Tyson is set and determined to find out just how many licks DOES it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop...
Driving his team crazy in the process! Now, it's up to the sexy Kai to stop this stubborn counting menace! (Tyka-ness!)
Warnings:
OOC-ness, Tootsie Pop abuse.
_*_*_*_*_*_
"...Three
hundred forty-seven..."
Kenny
burst into tears, burying his face in his arms. On his laptop, no less. Dizzi, disgruntled, told her sobbing owner to 'watch
the merchandise'.
"...Three
hundred forty-eight..."
Max
bit the leg of Kenny's chair, foaming at the mouth and snarling.
"...Three
hundred forty-nine...Three hundred fifty..."
Ray,
smiling serenely, flipped through 'Hitchhiker's Guide to Buddhism', and seriously considered shaving his head. The more you
suffered, the more you gained, right? Right?
"...Three
hundred fifty-one..."
Daichi
lay on the floor, only mostly dead.
"...Three
hundred... wait, where was I?" The group miraculously recovered from their insanity to gasp and look over at the speaker,
hope shining in their eyes. Unfortunately for them.... "Oh, three hundred fifty two!"
Kenny
let out a small wail and returned to ruining his laptop with his tears. Max barked, Daichi moaned like a zombie RETURNING
to the grave and Ray just blinked.
The
door to the Granger's living room (Ooh, look, setting!) flew open with a bang.
"You
have to stop this!" Hilary trilled, waving her hands expressively at the group, who in turn watched her with haunted eyes.
Explaining to the man behind her, she pointed accusingly at the perpetrator. "It was funny for the first, like, two minutes,
but now it's driving us spare!"
Lazily
(And sexily), Kai Hiwatari walked inside. The brunette girl gave a small, incredibly wistful sigh, her eyes (if not her ears
and mind) feeling much relieved by the glorious sight. As of late, the Russian had begun to just drip sex appeal... so much
that he avoided carpeted areas whenever possible, as it was a pain trying to scrub sex appeal stains out.
The
group muttered/mumbled/barked their hellos.
Kai
sighed as well, but it was more irritated than smitten. "What's going on here?"
"He
won't stop!!" cried Hilary as she suddenly remembered to be hysterical.
The
patent Death Glare 900 was unleashed upon her for her uselessness. "Who won't stop what?"
"...Three
hundred fifty ni-no, wait, sixty!"
"TYSON!!!"
Kai
blinked and glanced around the room, violet eyes stopping at the baseball-capped head that was turned away from him.
Wait!
Tyson
always greeted him first. Always. Kai was supposed to be the one to take the friendly gesture for granted, not the
other way around! And Kai hadn't made any rationally challenged decisions that might anger the navy-haired champ, either!
Or so he thought...
"Tyson?"
Kai strode confidently over to where he sat, scarf billowing behind him. Max padded over to sniff the glowing puddle of sex
appeal left on the floor.
"Woof!"
He glommed onto Ray and began...erm... the rating...
The
neko-jin let out a decidedly catlike screech, jumped up on the chair, prayed for chastity, and then took off running down
the hall. The blond followed into the chase on all fours, though he seemed more interested in pulling Ray's clothes off with
his teeth than actually catching him at the moment.
Kai
stood in front of Tyson, only slightly surprised by what he found.
Tyson
was holding a lollipop with one hand, a pencil in the other, in which to make check marks in the notebook he was balancing
on his leg. His tongue darted out, snaking across the candy surface before returning to his mouth, which was stained a bright
cherry red.
"...Three
hundred sixty-five..." The champ said aloud, making another check.
...What
a dilemma for Kai... Should he simply let Tyson go on (That WAS a pretty big number, after all...), and enjoy watching Tyson
and that tongue work? Or should he spare the rest of the crew, for if Daichi's dead countenance proved anything, it meant
they were at their nerves end...
Finally,
curiosity won over everything else, and Kai asked sharply, "What are you doing?"
Their
eyes met. "Kai?"
Kai
rolled his heavenward. "That is my name."
"Hey,
Kai! When'd you get here!?" Yes, this was much better. Tyson looked appropriately excited and delighted to see him... Kai
didn't bother to hide his own pleasure at his teammate's shouted greeting.
"Apparently,
my assistance is needed, as even Hilary can't make you stop counting...You are annoying everyone to death." Daichi gurgled
slightly. "Or close to it." Ray ran by the door, stripped to his waist. Max soon followed in pursuit, yelling the first coherent
sentence he'd said since Tyson had gotten out that pad of paper,
"C'mon
Ray, are you gonna make me chase you all day!?"
Tyson
wetted his stained lips, making Kai wonder if they tasted like cherry too. "Well, I'm finding out how many licks!"
"What?!"
"You
know, 'how many licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop'? Max told me about it- it was an advertising scheme a while ago
in America." Tyson grinned. "He doesn't know if they showed the commercials anywhere else, though..."
Kai
stared at the navy-haired teen, wondering if hitting him on the head would knock some sense into him, or knock out the little
he had left.
"Don't
you know how it goes?"
"Hm?
Three hundred sixty... aw, what was that last digit?"
"Six."
"So
it's seven now?"
"No,
six. You're on six. Last time it was five."
"Ohhhh.
Thanks." A thoughtful expression overcame his face (don't die of shock, it has been scientifically proven that yes, Tyson
does think). "This is taking forever! Just how long does this have to take?"
Suddenly,
a sexy smirk stretched across Kai's face. "'Let's find out'." He quoted, plucking the red lollipop from the teen's
hand. Placing it near his own mouth, the Russian licked it, "one, two, three-" he popped it in his mouth and
CRUNCH! The champ looked stricken.
"Why
did you-"
"No
one can stop from biting, Tyson."
Said
teen blinked several times. "Oh."
"Tyson,
remember- 'the world may never know'..." Kai finished, watching as realization bloomed on his teammate's face.
"Oh
yeah, I remember now!" Tyson's grin faded. "But all my hard work..." Though still downcast, he mused, "And why isn't the world
allowed to know how many, anyway?"
"Because
it's not possible...." The Russian had to the good sense to look sympathetic. " I'm sorry, but you were driving everyone crazy."
Kai put the crunched lolly back in his mouth.
"It's
okay, I was getting bored." Tyson said dismissively. Kai sweatdropped.
A
sly expression crossed his face. "Heh heh, crazy, huh?" The shorter teen snatched back his candy, then waved it teasingly
front of the duel-haired teen. "Crazy for what?" He ran his tongue over those cherry-red lips again, smirking
enticingly.
Everyone
in the room had heard enough of Tyson's voice, so Kai decided to show his boyfriend with his mouth, rather than try
and explain. The notebook and pencil were soon abandoned for more interesting activities...
"Aw,
that's so sweet... almost makes up for the headache I've had for the last three hours." Hilary commented, leaning her head
back into her friend's gentle touch.
"All's
well that ends well..." Kenny replied, massaging her temples.
The
brunette smiled, then pulled the shorter boy's face down for a short kiss.
Kenny
blushed scarlet. "What was that for?!"
"You
used Shakespeare- everyone gets married off at the end of his comedies! But since we're all 15 and 16 (Aside from Daichi),
pairing us all up is the next best Shakespearean thing! Or so the fangirls say to excuse their pairings, at times..."
"I
see." The glasses-wearing brunette wasn't sure if he liked that answer much. "What about Daichi?" Who was, by the way, still
rather mostly dead.
Tala
then randomly entered the room, scooped up the sleeping 'Rose Red', and carried him off into the waiting sunset.
"Okay...
that works." Kenny agreed easily, because for once in his life, he really rather not think about it.
_*_*_*_*_*_
Me
brain is dead, dead, very very dead! Yeah... (falls over) What was I on when I wrote this? I've got two other fanfics
in the hanger, one a multi-chapter I'm going to write with Ryoku123 (waves hi)! Beware... 'I have come for your souuuuls'...
Oh,
and here's the really crack-made alternate ending. Don't die on me now.
_*_*_*_*_*_
".....Everyone?"
Kenny echoed, then stopped to turn an interesting shade of green. "But...What about Grandpa Granger, then?"
Hilary's
eyes widened to plate-size. "He's having...tea...with Mr. Dickenson..."
They
shuddered in unison, both rather green now.
"Right,
nevermind."
_*_*_*_*_*_
But
I remembered that Daichi was still on the floor... :D And I also was going to have Hiro walk by, singing, "Your love is
like a lollipop", but that's too twisted, even for me. :)
